土摩托日记

据说丁俊晖道歉了，我能不能不接受？

丁俊晖决定代言蒙牛的时候，蒙牛还没出事吧？丁俊晖又没做错什么，瞎道的哪门子歉呢？这不明摆着是小丁的经纪人经过仔细考虑后做的不要钱的形象广告嘛？

相比之下，我反而觉得郭德纲还可爱些。一个没受过科学教育的人，不能理解藏密减肥茶为什么是骗人的东西，于是拒不道歉，起码可以给丫一个诚实分。

体育界真正该道歉的是刘翔。你想，假如一个记者，说好了周一下午5点前交稿，到临了印刷厂等着开机了，丫来电话说昨晚发烧，稿子没写，你说丫该不该道歉？道歉是轻的，开除了我都没意见。真不能理解为什么有人到处嚷嚷说不接受他的道歉，一看就没当过编辑。

丁俊晖为什么明知自己没错还要出来道歉？还不是被“广大人民群众”逼的？！奶粉事件一出，凡是粘奶字的都成了被告。人民群众那个义正词严啊，不知道的以为中国人是天底下最有正义感的人，难怪中国国歌是义勇军进行曲呢。

刘翔的道歉之所以有那么多人不接受，也是正义感在作怪。人家的脚后跟疼成那样，还怎么比赛？多不讲道德啊？这时候就没人想想，那么多观众被忽悠了过去，那么多商业广告费被挣了进来（想想都有谁分了这笔钱），是否应该对观众、对商家讲讲正义感。

正义感是最不容置疑的，也就最容易扎堆儿。

凡事一扎堆儿，就容易互相刺激，互相攀比，然后头脑一热，就什么都忘了。今年出的很多烦心事都有一群人急于表现扎堆儿正义，口号喊多了，就忘记了应该如何解决实际问题。最典型的就是地震预报，汶川地震没预报出来当然不是什么好事，但总得想想为什么吧？可是我却看到一群人急于表现自己的扎堆儿正义感，把矛头指向地震局，甚至不惜把救世主的宝座让给了癞蛤蟆。

要是听他们的，中国人估计没几天安生日子过。幸好9月13号没出什么乱子，要不然你说这帮人该不该被判个煽动闹事罪？

有人预测说，奶粉事件过不了几天就会被人遗忘，我非常同意，因为很快就会有新的糟心事儿吸引大众的眼球，让大家伙儿再表现一次扎堆儿正义。至于说到底应该如何解决问题，没人关心。

依我看，一件看上去很坏的事情为什么会发生？原因不外乎3条：

1，确实没办法避免。
2，这件坏事同时带来了更多的好处，没人看见。
3，这件坏事的危害程度还不够大，让坏人心存侥幸。

地震预测目前就属于第一种情况。我相信人类总有一天能预测地震，但现在的技术根本做不到。所以应该让老百姓断了这个念头，把精力放在长期预防上来，减少损失。

转基因农业属于第二种情况，这个以后再说。

牛奶事件，我觉得3种情况都有。中国的土地和财力，能否做到每人每天一斤奶？微量的三聚氰胺到底有多大的危害？该不该因为质检总局测出的百万分之一的三聚氰胺，就纷纷改买进口奶粉，或者改喝豆浆？中国人就喜欢矫枉过正，用炮弹打蚊子。从当年的SARS，到今年的奥运会，再到奶粉事件，莫不如此。背后的原因只有一个：扎堆儿正义。

要想解决问题，又不要付出太大的代价，必须放弃扎堆儿正义，实事求是，讲讲科学。

再回来说丁俊晖。我觉得他确实做错了，但不仅仅是代言了蒙牛。依我看，明星们根本就不该代言他们不懂的产品。丁俊晖代言球杆还靠谱一点，他毕竟懂行。可是，他打球好，难道是因为喝了蒙牛的缘故？另一个例子就是姚明，他代言的可口可乐我敢肯定他教练不会允许他喝，这种代言本身就是荒谬的，不负责任的，姚明早就该道歉了。

至于说郭德纲的代言案子，我觉得更大的错误在消费者身上。如果你看见丫那副身材，仍然相信那个减肥茶有效，那我劝你还是先去买盒脑白金补补脑子吧。

不说了，说啥都没用，还是听歌。Eminem《The Real Slim Shady》。歌词特好玩，流氓嘴里有时吐的才是真理。

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We’re gonna have a problem here..

Y’all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It’s the return of the… “Ah, wait, no way, you’re kidding,
he didn’t just say what I think he did, did he?”
And Dr. Dre said… nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre’s dead, he’s locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
[*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*]
“Slim Shady, I’m sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who,” “Yeah, but he’s so cute though!”
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what’s goin on in your parents’ bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can’t
but it’s cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
“My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips”
And if I’m lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that’s the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman’s clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don’t they?
“We ain’t nothing but mammals..” Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there’s no reason that a man and another man can’t elope
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

[Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)]

‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

[Eminem]
Will Smith don’t gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can’t even stomach me, let alone stand me
“But Slim, what if you win, wouldn’t it be weird?”
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear ‘em argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
“Yeah, he’s cute, but I think he’s married to Kim, hee-hee!”
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
I’m sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
And there’s a million of us just like me
who cuss like me; who just don’t give a fuck like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
I’m like a head trip to listen to, cause I’m only givin you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of y’all and I don’t gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It’s funny; cause at the rate I’m goin when I’m thirty
I’ll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I’m jackin off with Jergens
And I’m jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn’t working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming “I don’t give a fuck!”
with his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

[Chorus 4X]

[Eminem]
Ha ha
Guess there’s a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let’s all stand up